Thank you

Thank you to everyone's very nice messages to Dan and I, whether over the comments, email, phone calls, etc. These past couple of days Dan and I are going through something no one should go through, I know that. James will ALWAYS hold a very special place in our hearts. The nurses sent home some very nice mementos including his hand and foot prints, a lock of his hair, and some of the blankets he used. They even sent a beautiful little box to keep it all in. The NICU nurses and doctors really have treated James and our family with so much respect.

As for the girls....our star, Sofia, had a couple steps backwards but we are confident she will be fine. Her breathing had become worse and she was put on the jet ventilator (same kind James was on). Her blood gases are a lot better since the switch. I think she just needed a break from working so hard. They are testing her for fungal or bacterial infections and have already started giving her antibiotics and anti-fungal meds just in case. There hasn't been anything growing on the cultures yet so we're crossing our fingers. Infections in preemies can be very treatable for some babies but for others it can be serious. We think Sofia is a strong enough fighter that she will be fine even if she does have an infection. Her blood glucose levels were high also, which can be a sign of infection, or it can be that she reached her threshold of how much sugar she can receive from the IV. She is on insulin for the time being, but the doctor told us that it won't turn into diabetes.

Madeline is stable but still on the ventilator. She can't get any milk yet because she has a small leak in her esophagus from the surgery. The surgeons expect that to heal up nicely on its own; she just needs time. We did start holding Madeline and she tolerated it very nicely! It is so special to feel that little body on my chest.

Josephine is stable as well but has high blood glucose like Sofia. She isn't acting ill but they are testing her for infections only to be safe. They aren't giving her antibiotics or anything unless she shows signs she's sick. She is on insulin, though.

Despite Sofia's little set-back, yesterday was a better day than Saturday. Everything with James is still feeling like a really bad dream and I wake up questioning whether it is real or not. I don't think we'll ever "get over it" but I know we will grow to accept it.

I cannot wait until they start growing quickly and get stronger lungs. It is hard to hold them when they are on the vents! We go to the NICU everyday wondering if it will be a good day or a bad day. Please keep the little ones in your thoughts! Have a GREAT Christmas and a Happy Holiday season.